10 comments on “Seduction

  1. Good day.

    You sent a critique request to We Drink Because We’re Poets several days ago. I’d like to apologize, first, for such a late response.

    That all said and done, here’s my take:

    I’m huge on rhythm. There’s something about the cadence of a poem that, in my opinion, makes or breaks it. Your piece here is very rhythmic to me. It has a nice flow to it that’s unmistakable.

    On the subject matter, I was expecting something much raunchier when I first read the title. That’s the thing I like about titles: you cannot always intuit what a piece is going to be about solely based on the title. I think your choice of title adds to the strength of the poem. I think the strength of the poem is also enhanced by how subtle you are. This is not a piece that I would call raunchy at all and I find that refreshing for a poem titled such as this. Of course, I would also say that anybody who understands the art of seduction invariably understands how to be subtle. Clearly, you’ve a firm grasp on subtlety, and that’s a very strong point.

    The only thing that I didn’t like so much was the choice of some words in a couple of lines. One that threw me off was the following:

    “The moon comes to protect me

    From loneliness of night

    A shadow falls around me

    As dark as day is light.”

    I think it’s because an image of a night light popped into my head. Of course, there’s only so much you can do with rhyme, which leads me to the next point…

    You rhyme well. I’m not overly fond of rhyming (I tend to free verse, haiku/senryu and such that requires no rhyming, most of the time) so when I see something such as this that I actually like, I would count that as high praise (though, my praise doesn’t count for much, methinks).

    This is a lovely piece. Very lovely piece. Excellent.

    Like

    • On target…..the sneak of “as dark as day is light” was slipped in and sounds wonderful, but dissected,is off 😉 And yes, to keep the poetic line, and flow, I wasn’t creative enough. I am glad that you found the piece enjoyable. I appreciate your input. I am glad, very
      happy, that we see my “poetic faux pas”, in the same 🙂

      Like

      • It’s only my word. I wouldn’t call it a faux pas because it still works out famously. In my estimation, a happy accident. I do that often. 🙂 Stay up.

        Like

      • Word respected…..I hope you may find time to blast through my blog. I truly enjoyed your take on it….and thank you very graciously on the reblog.I didn’t expect that. Thank you for ending my week on a nice note 🙂

        Like

  2. Pingback: Moonlight Seduction | The Midnight Thief

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