sadness

All posts tagged sadness

After Good-bye

Posted by Heather's Starting End on March 22, 2017
Posted in: death, life, loss, poetry. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 Comments

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I told him I loved him
His hand held in mine, as I curled up
By his side
Stroked back his hair,
His forehead I kissed
And said it was time to go to the light

His breathing, then shallow
I fought not to cry,
I felt Dads soul leave
Right after he died

There once was a time I was not so lucky
When God took my Husband away
There were no good byes, no last words
Behind with our children, I would stay

Numb to the bone,
Not a clue where to start
Love, anger and rage
Ripped apart my heart

Did I arrive too late,or did he go too fast?
There is no more future
There’s now just a past

Its’ been so many years, 14 to this day
Questions still come and go
Is it fair to complain and bitch about life?
I’ve learned I’m just human,
Oh, that I do know

But today somethings changed,
It took long enough,
And yes, I have survived

But the difference today is how grateful I am
Just for the chance to be alive

To value today like no other,
And each day that’s yet to come
For tomorrow could be,
The very last time
Our skin will be graced by the early Spring sun

There’s no time to waste,
To chase about
For a dream, when that dream is right here!
To search and to yearn for something more
And miss life that is present,
right at my door.

If we were told, this is our last day
Just think of the words
We’d choose to say…

There’d be “I love you”
Arguments would stop
We’d say “Don’t go,
You’re all that I’ve got”

But this is a day that reflects upon death
And if tomorrow should turn routine,
Take a moment to think
About what really counts,
Take the time to feel
What you might not have seen

For my Girls, With love, Mommy ❤

Wishes and Dreams, Once More

Posted by Heather's Starting End on May 14, 2015
Posted in: life, love, philosophy, poems, poetry, relationships. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 21 Comments

aqua-shooting-star-shine-250853

I held a heart that wasn’t mine,
It sang songs, but not for me
Just how crazy had I been
All along hearing,
So incorrectly

I loved you until, my heart bled dry
Till the music,
No longer played
Till the only sound within my head
Was the echoing madness,
Of an empty day

It was you, not the sun
That lit my days
It was you, not the stars
That filled my nights

Now it’s me, all alone
For which no music plays
Now it’s me, all alone
To create my new light

Dear Sadness and Loneliness,
You are just,
Mere vagabonds
Passing through
Despite your efforts
To stay with me,
Welcomed, you’re not,
As this chapter starts new

Because I fear not,
For the sun, It will rise,
Each day as it’s done before
The Milky Way, galaxies,
Stars of the night,
Will be mine for wishes
And dreams once more

Fog Eyes, an Elegiac Poem

Posted by Heather's Starting End on February 22, 2015
Posted in: creative writing, poems, poetry, poetry challenge. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 20 Comments

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Earth it spins, round and round, keeping me, away you, from this world, you fly
Angels wings, unseen wind, lifted you, beyond me, earth behind, goodbye

Creeping through, breaking through, sitting here, wanting not, wish you’d go, fog eyes
Desperate, despondent, lifeless night, stars removed, lonely space, sad sky
Begging you, show me now, beyond life, where you live, past the sun, gods home
Vale of fog, heavy mist, melt away frozen grief, I’m alive, alone

 

Possibly the hardest challenge I’ve ever attempted. Thank you to the Daily Post for the  Fog prompt and style.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-201-fog/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elegiac_couplet

Watch Me

Posted by Heather's Starting End on October 7, 2014
Posted in: creative writing, depression, life, loss, love, poem, poetry, reality, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 10 Comments

Walking_Away_by_Gwendelin_Artanis
I don’t want,
To be where I am
I do not want,
To be here
I do not want
To be in a place,
Where it’s empty words
That fill my ears

I do not want,
To be left to think,
That all is just for naught
That all this energy, all this fight,
I lost before I fought

I do not need,
To be where I am
I choose to wander away
Not worth feeding me some lines,
For reasons I should stay

I don’t need to wonder why,
I’m in the place I’m in
I seem to welcome every time,
Trust, while others sin

Here I chill inside the cold,
Of truth that does not hide
Here I put on sweaters,
Just to warm me from the lies

Watch me as
I give up,
And surprise those all around
Watch them at
Their disbelief,
When I stand upon my ground

And tell them I don’t need it,
To be their second string
Tell them to go back, away,
My life is worth something

Can’t have your cake and eat it too,
No longer will I wait,
Till you decide to give it up
My decision has been made

Rainbows Other Side

Posted by Heather's Starting End on September 27, 2014
Posted in: art, creative writing, life, love, poem, poetry. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 8 Comments

tovelo_outthere
I crave to know you your mystery
Let me in and show me why,
You hide behind a smiling face
Behind your eyes, tears cry

I wish to know why you won’t,
Open up, let demons out
Stop protecting them and hiding them,
As they toss your life about

Tainted laugher, timid joy
Faux pas, your love of life
Sullen soul that lives within,
Your worlds perfect disguise

Housing demons in your mind,
That rob you of your spark
As life remains a futile state,
Chasing rainbows in the dark

Flush them out with waterfalls,
Of tears, outside not in
Scream your pain out loud and clear,
Leave nothing left within

For you there’ll be a pot of gold
On rainbows other side,
Once you teach these demons that,
In you they can not hide

IF

Posted by Heather's Starting End on September 25, 2014
Posted in: art, belief, creative writing, life, poem, poetry, poetry challenge, reality, sadness. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 6 Comments

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When
This night
Comes to an end
Just because I’m not here
Know I am eternally
Close to you now
I’m always
Near

If
You long
Look just inside
I’m within your heart
Breathing my love
Into your soul
As to never
Part

If when
you’re in doubt
Of the chosen path
Needing a change of way
I will pave a new road
That leads to light
Somber left
Astray

My
Hand’s in yours
You feel not my skin but
It’s each moment in gentle grasp
As when you were young
And Days were long
‘n Life was here
To last

If
Forever is
The moon and the sun
Horizon where dreams come true
With life colors to dance on
Backdrop splashed sky
There I’ll each day
See you

Inspired by my friend Peter Notehelfer and his beautiful style of Poetry, I thought I would give this a shot. Hats off to you, Peter…may my  next attempt be closer to the flowing and precise works you are so gifted in writing.

Cancer of the Soul

Posted by Heather's Starting End on May 30, 2014
Posted in: creative writing, depression, life, poem, poetry. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 39 Comments

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I see me now,
And reflect on a time when
Once lost ,
Needing to be found again

I see those years,
Just a walk on part
On the stage
Of my life
In a house I occupied,
But where I did not
Live
In a bed I slept,
But did not
Dream

My echoing thoughts,
A confirmation
Of loneliness,
Filled with emptiness,
Although be it without solitude

The night could have been day,
The day could have been night
Irrelevant
For I mourned both,
But wished,
Both away
Dark sadness

Medicine,
A mere band aid
For an open bleeding heart
Time,
Hurt in the moment
Hurt as it passed
Yet stood still as it ran

It was then when I had
Cancer of the Soul,
Living lifeless,
Needing to be born again
Not wanting to grow old

“In Memory You Grow”

Posted by Heather's Starting End on April 13, 2014
Posted in: creative writing, Family, God, life, loss, poem, poetry, reality. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 11 Comments

In Memory of my Husband 4/13/62-3/21/04

Rose-on-grave-200x200

Happy Birthday 52
52 years Bright
I sit beside the lake of blue
Across
A Village
And there’s the street
The one that took your life

10 years ago
Plus one week,
Right before your day
That we’d sing the song just for you,
“Happy wonderful
Birthday”

May I ask,
No response required
How it is by you?
You now soar higher
Than the birds
Today here
In my view

My end has started
My life is new
I’ve moved on from the past
I’m in love
And he loves me too
My peace I have at last

We are fine
The Girls miss Daddy
God they miss you so
Don’t you fret
For on this Day
In memory you grow

“My Open Window”

Posted by Heather's Starting End on March 24, 2014
Posted in: belief, couple, Family, life, love, Partner, sadness. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 16 Comments

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On one December day
His passion went away
As if a window opened
And away
It blew
Exiting warmth
Entering cold
All on that winter day
Everything I loved
Disappeared

The man I once knew
Was taken ahold
By a past or a present
God only knows

He left my side as he stood by me
Invisible presence
As he claimed to be
In love with my eyes, my hair, my being

But what was the lack of love I was seeing
Where is his heart if it is not with mine
To where has it drifted in such a short time

The windows still open
As the pane gathers frost
I won’t close it yet
In case he’s just lost

Out finding his heart
And will bring it back
Before my heart freezes
Breaks down and cracks

We fight the seasons
With our bodies so bold
We sweat and we shiver
From hot into cold
We should fight for love
One to have and to hold
Leave windows open
For a chance to come home

Sand In My Eyes

Posted by Heather's Starting End on March 12, 2014
Posted in: life, love, poetry, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , . 6 Comments

carsten-peter-a-dromedary-camel-is-silhouetted-in-the-sunset-of-the-sahara-desert

Even camels need water
Mother Theresa
Love
Endless journey
Oh heavens above

To give and accompany a whole life long
Questioning never how to be strong
I question you now
As my river runs dry
Thirsty camel
Love gone by

Where’s my next step
In the sands of time
Is it ego or heart
That gives me the sign
That the path I will follow
Includes my right
Not to thirst for the water
Be loves oversight

I see clearer now
With sand in my eyes
This desert storm
To my surprise
Dried up my heart
And disabled my tears
I see clearer now
After so many years

A victim of whirlwind
A fault of my own
This love thirsty camel
Wants to go home

Rose Colored Lens

Posted by Heather's Starting End on February 27, 2014
Posted in: life, love, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

rose_colored_glasses
What’s it all anyway
It’s all just a storm
The days that are perfect
Are not life’s true norm

Put on the glasses with rose colored lens
Positive, reassured it’ll get better again
What is that” better” and when will it come
I think its a farce that fools everyone

Does it exist?
Is carefree alive?
Is it a part of the past,
In the future deprived

Of roads paved smooth
The way not furrowed
Faith in the heart
Of love not troubled

I’ll get on my knees
In the midst of this rain
Pave a new path
For love once again

This storm too shall pass
We’ll again find the norm
And the strength for life’s struggle
To which we were born

Goodbye, My Friend….

Posted by Heather's Starting End on February 13, 2014
Posted in: loss. Tagged: , , . 3 Comments

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I felt  the soul of someone
of one I’ve never known,
I walked a mile in his words
that always lead me Home

If ever there was a greatness
it was He with Pen in Hand
I’ll miss the spirit of his depth
his rhyme, his strength his story

I bid farewell to my special one

The Power and The Glory

…..Godspeed, My Friend

Your Time is not Mine

Posted by Heather's Starting End on January 6, 2014
Posted in: ageing, life, love, philosophy, poetry, sadness, time. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

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How do we break down a day
How does it add up to a life

At times a day is forever
Glad to bid the sun farewell

Joyful times a day knows no end
Our sun seems to shine forever

Just why are the darkest hours the longest
Is it sadness weighing the hands of time?
Why the happiest are so short, almost hard to grasp hold of
Ticking as we chase it from behind

Does a happy life go by quicker?
Is a sad life slower to come to an end?

When we rise and we retire to the same Sun
Just how can our clocks be so different then