Trying to forgive,
Reconciling the past
Undermining lies
Still haunt her
To this day, she can’t
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In case the day should ever come
When I’m no longer me
When I, the mother, that you once knew
Becomes the child so desperate, in your need
As each day that I meet
Becomes now a burden,
What once simple, now complex
When I’ve forgotten names, time and dates
Yet also forgotten all my regrets
Know that no matter
How distant my eyes,
And the feelings that I,
Can no longer convey
That deep down in my now
Voiceless heart,
My love for you still grows every day
I apologize now, so far in advance
For my decline, should it unfold
When the memories I try
To build every day,
Become deleted by error
By a mind that’s grown old
My winter may come at an inconvenient time,
Our seasons out of tune
While your life’s in full stride, just as mine weakens,
When your Spring is here, finally in bloom
Hesitate not to shed a fast tear,
Though I’m sure that I, will not know why
Remember my heart as it was when it spoke,
When life was young and had time on my side
If there was one thing
That I’d wish for,
Upon the stars that whisk
‘Cross this moonless black night
It would be a soft blanket,
From stillness, woven,
To wrap ‘round the thoughts
That race,
Through my mind
To put questions at ease,
Lay worry to rest
Grace time, for my mind,
So that it can attest
That the weight of the world,
It rests, not, just on me
That life moves, as it does,
Unceasingly
And all will come,
To an end which is meant
Some without rhythm,
Or rhyme
There may be reasons unanswered,
Belief may be shattered
But this weight of tonight,
In good time will unwind
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Just write, just type
As the days long ago
Let my thoughts run wild,
Allow my feelings to flow
It has been so long,
Have I forgotten how?
What has long laid dormant,
Can I awaken it now?
Give me the power
To dive deep in,
To my heart, mind or soul
So that I can begin
To write and type,
Like the days long ago
When my thoughts ran wild,
And my feelings would flow
Somehow I don’t feel
That today is the day
My navigation is down,
I can’t find my way
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I
Have
Never been
As numb as I am
Right now
Today
I
Have
Never been
So detached
Ripped up
Afraid
I
Have
Never felt
Such a loss while
Still being
Whole
I
Have
Hurt the one
I love, I doubted
His very
Soul
I
Now beg
For Todays rain
To please come wash
Hurt and pain
Away
.
.
.image:www.paulreiffer.com
Sometimes I wonder, just where I am
How did I end up here?
I thought my eyes, open, along the way,
As I journeyed through more, than the half of my years
Other times, I wonder, what’s up next?
There must be more in this life to see
Or did I live it already, take it for granted,
When I was young, living easy, wild and carefree
In this moment, I reminisce, of just where I’ve been,
While reaching for memories of long ago
Melancholy grasps at the depth of my heart,
As these visions of then, slowly unfold
Of when life once was full with promise and hope
While my dreams were still in the make
The years ahead, more than ones that had passed
There was plenty of time, to make lifes mistakes
And mistakes I had made, I’m sure by the dozens
Some taught lessons, some left pain
There were times when a dozen, were made in one day
Some I still make, over and over again
What have I learned, as I examined my path?
What is it that I can say?
Not just lessons and pain, but dreams too, are still mine,
To accept and embrace for the rest of my days.
.
.Photo: www.celestialrealm.com
Photo: www.myphotobag.com
Sumptuous summer,
“Sunkiss” my skin
As I lay in the gold,
Of your hot, lazy
Suns grin…
Amidst this field,
Of tall grass shades of green,
An abundance of flowers
Where I lay in between
Raised hand casts a shadow
That shelters my eyes
Here I shall stay
Till seduced,
With moon rise
Will you join me here
To watch stars come to life,
As they dance and they twinkle,
Backdrop stage in the Sky?
Fear not when they shoot
And I silently wish,
For your skin to touch mine,
While my body you lavish
Delicious days turn,
To naughty filled nights
My inhibitions graciously
Fade
Mystical time,
Sumptuous summer
This sensuous season,
You, I’d not trade
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I held a heart that wasn’t mine,
It sang songs, but not for me
Just how crazy had I been
All along hearing,
So incorrectly
I loved you until, my heart bled dry
Till the music,
No longer played
Till the only sound within my head
Was the echoing madness,
Of an empty day
It was you, not the sun
That lit my days
It was you, not the stars
That filled my nights
Now it’s me, all alone
For which no music plays
Now it’s me, all alone
To create my new light
Dear Sadness and Loneliness,
You are just,
Mere vagabonds
Passing through
Despite your efforts
To stay with me,
Welcomed, you’re not,
As this chapter starts new
Because I fear not,
For the sun, It will rise,
Each day as it’s done before
The Milky Way, galaxies,
Stars of the night,
Will be mine for wishes
And dreams once more
Time begins to tick
I want more road to travel-
Distance till the end
I am sure that I once saw you,
When I came in to this life
I believe I must have looked at you,
When I first opened up my eyes
Your face, I don’t remember
God somehow made it so
That those visions are not memories,
Possible to stow
I believe that our skin once touched,
Though for sure, I’ll never know
If you held me for just moments,
Before forever letting go
My mirror casts, your reflection,
Though I can’t say really where
Is it in my eyes, my frame, or my smile?
Just perhaps my light brown hair
I somehow find it truly sad,
That again we never met
I wish to say I thank you,
Your choice, please don’t regret
You gave me life, though set me free,
Into loving arms
A Mom and Dad with two great brothers
Protected always, from lifes harm
I hope your life has served you well
And that you too, with time have thrived
Maybe once again, I’ll see your face,
In heaven with my eyes
I wish that I could once meet,
A connoisseur of this life
To tell me that I’m doing well,
That my direction is just right
That this is just nature’s course,
I should now just trust my way
Lose my doubt, keep on track
It will all work out one day
I wish that I could once meet,
A gourmet of this world’s spice
To tell me I add perfect flavor
To each person in my life
That I do not sour minds of others,
I don’t leave a wretched taste
But add a pinch of which they need
To make their lives a sweeter place
I wish that I could once meet,
A master of eternal love
To tell me stay the way I am
Keeping past behind, future above
That I’m good enough, and even more
Someone once will recognize
And forfeit all their prior dreams
To lose themselves, within my eyes
Yes, I wish that I, could just once,
Meet myself the way I am
Be happy with
What I’ve become,
Be okay with where I stand
Deep Red, rich color
Shade of a liquid delight-
Thoughts have now been drowned
It’s the time
When the moon,
Gives its way,
To the rising sun
A brief moment when…
All is still
And a second when…
All is clear
The dividing line,
Of a past
Not yet to be,
The future
Become caught
In that time
And live life,
As if it is your dawn
The Starting End 