After Good-bye

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I told him I loved him
His hand held in mine, as I curled up
By his side
Stroked back his hair,
His forehead I kissed
And said it was time to go to the light

His breathing, then shallow
I fought not to cry,
I felt Dads soul leave
Right after he died

There once was a time I was not so lucky
When God took my Husband away
There were no good byes, no last words
Behind with our children, I would stay

Numb to the bone,
Not a clue where to start
Love, anger and rage
Ripped apart my heart

Did I arrive too late,or did he go too fast?
There is no more future
There’s now just a past

Its’ been so many years, 14 to this day
Questions still come and go
Is it fair to complain and bitch about life?
I’ve learned I’m just human,
Oh, that I do know

But today somethings changed,
It took long enough,
And yes, I have survived

But the difference today is how grateful I am
Just for the chance to be alive

To value today like no other,
And each day that’s yet to come
For tomorrow could be,
The very last time
Our skin will be graced by the early Spring sun

There’s no time to waste,
To chase about
For a dream, when that dream is right here!
To search and to yearn for something more
And miss life that is present,
right at my door.

If we were told, this is our last day
Just think of the words
We’d choose to say…

There’d be “I love you”
Arguments would stop
We’d say “Don’t go,
You’re all that I’ve got”

But this is a day that reflects upon death
And if tomorrow should turn routine,
Take a moment to think
About what really counts,
Take the time to feel
What you might not have seen

For my Girls, With love, Mommy ❤

4 comments on “After Good-bye”

I feel your love: no plastic flowers here . . .

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Hi Heather
I think of you so often, so glad to see you’re writing again. The post on your father was beautiful. I had my hand behind my granny’s neck while giving the last morphine stick. I told her to take Gods hand, there wasn’t pain in heaven, she would see my father again and she could let go. Take his hand and leave your pain behind. It was the hardest thing I’ve done, worth every tear. I mishear so much.
Come back to the team. It sounded like you had some difficulties posting I was not aware of. I love you writing, gentle, then you set back back and it sinks in what you were saying.
I’m going to send you an invitation, say yes. I wouldn’t have to think about how you are if you’re right beside me.
You are are a Survivor in many aspects of your life and you could help others deal with their struggles.
I hope this email is good. email me at msandorm@verizon.net, we can catch up and experience each others pain together.
Hugs
M

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Reblogged this on Looking For The Light Blog and commented:
Heather
These beautiful words and the feels that go with, leave tears in my eyes, my heart aches. Like you, we’ve Survived to learn what’s most important.
Love ya Hugs
M

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