Sleep, 5/7/5 Haiku

Dreams reality-
As the nighttime takes control
The day has now died

.
I never appreciated the difficulty of Haiku until this attempt.
Constructive criticism is most welcome from those who seem to compose these with such ease.

8 comments on “Sleep, 5/7/5 Haiku”

I like it! Great job!

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Heather's Starting End on March 11, 2015 at 1:11 am said:

Thank you!! Next time I’ll try to be a bit more obscure?

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- thesewordsiwrite2012 on March 11, 2015 at 1:13 am said:
  
  Sure, just do whatever makes you feel comfortable. 🙂
  
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Excellent! your count is right on.
This is actually senryu because the human element is present
Haiku is or should always have a season mentioned or some how
represent nature, and they don’t traditionally have titles,
making them very hard to keep file and find in folders lol I give
mine descriptions just so I can find them 😉 Here are a few of links
that have info I think you will like. Nothing like reading books
on a specific form, just to write Poems with three short lines lol.
Keep up the good work sweet poetess 🙂

http://cias.rit.edu/~rmg9330/japanese_haiku/links.html
http://www.anotherkindofpoetry.org.uk/anotherkind/
http://simplyhaiku.com/SHv4n3/inContext/inContext.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senry%C5%AB
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

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Heather's Starting End on March 11, 2015 at 2:10 am said:

Double like! Your the best! Thank you!!!!!!!

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Not sure I get it. Looked it up, but still not sure of it’s meaning. I love the fact that it is unfinished, but dislike it for the same reason. It certainly makes the mind wander, but I guess I just like a more definitive answer at the end. Maybe satisfaction at the end, good or bad, it’s still satisfaction. I guess I just more appreciate a story-like-poem. A beginning, a middle, and an end. Just me. I have SO much to learn about poetry. I love your work. 🙂

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Heather's Starting End on March 12, 2015 at 4:36 pm said:

Hi Dennis, I didn’t” get” them either or even care for them till I forced myself to learn about the style. The middle line is the ” image” that cuts the 2 different ideas reflecting it in the 1st and 3rd. Typical is a 3,5,5 syllable or a 5,7,5 ir one line of 17. Hugh left great links in his comment above. Try it 🙂

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- Heather's Starting End on March 12, 2015 at 4:37 pm said:
  
  Sorry…3,5,3…on my dumb phone lol!
  
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